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Genius Pot Noodle complaint receives a £1 voucher for compensation

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Tom Culshaw
Written by Tom Culshaw

An avid Pot Noodle fan has sent in a detailed complaint to Pot Noodle explaining his relationship with the snack, only to receive a mere £1 voucher. We reckon that’s a bit harsh for the obvious effort below ! Good work sir.

 

 

 

Dear knitter of noodles, filler of pots.

I have enjoyed Pot Noodles from an early age. The simplicity, the variety, the un-nutritional joy in every fork full. A meal in a pot, such an innovation. So much so I religiously have one-a-day at work, usually around 4pm (foursies). Despite the occasional chronic chest pain, and salt infused fatigue, I can’t see why a Poodle can’t be included into a stable diet.

During my Pot Noodle career, I have noticed a couple of things. Number one, King size pot noodles are in no way more plentiful than standard. The exact same amount of water is used for both, and the illusion of quantity is only made by the extra packaging. I must admit however that the mere word ‘King’ makes the overall eating experience much more enjoyable. This particular qualm is sure to deter even the most avid ‘not foodle’ fan, though, not I.

Number two, the variety. I pride myself on trying the new weird and wonderful notions you create. Donner Kebab, Sausage Casserole, SFC etc. However with all the hype, the excitement, the curiosity, I always find they taste exactly like Chow Mein. Is this a problem? No, I thoroughly enjoy Chow Mein, however variety is the spice of life and I would like that be predominant when eating my daily Pot Noodle.

Number three, Beef and tomato, my favourite of all the noodles. Not only vegetarian (a fact that bamboozled me for days) but in need of extra tomato sauce. Each day I have to add extra ketchup in search of the optimum snack. An extra sachet could quite easily be provided; I assure sales would soar through the roof in a pot noodle style frenzy.

Fourthly, and disappointingly the most serious inclusion to this inspirational tale…  Last week…It was a sunny day, so much so I chose to prepare my Pot noodle indoors, and transport it outside. Chicken and Mushroom it was. The kettle boiled in ample time, my fork was at the ready, and I was quietly looking forward to bathing in the summer sun, enjoying a snack that I know and trust. Until, SUDDENLY, the foil lid was lifted, only to expose a distinct lack of soya sauce. Could this be? I frantically turned the nest of noodles upside down in hope it was hiding beneath the pot. But no, no Soya in sight. Clutching at straws I scrambled around my desk in search of condiments to infuse the flavour, only to find a spare sachet of chilli sauce from one of my Bombay bad boys. Dare I? Should I? I did… despite me stumbling onto a taste sensation, I feel it is only fair to share this tale, as Poodle’s are fast becoming a snack I enjoy, yes, but trust, no. Much like a savoury Ken Barlow, or Fred the weatherman, my enjoyment of the product does not extinguish the fact I could be endangered or let down.

I sincerely hope you take this information on board. Learn from it, grow. Also, Salt and pepper chicken pot noodle’s would almost definitely take over the world. For this idea, you are welcome. Just ensure you make me a rich man when the profits flood in.

Kind regards,

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