After pitching the idea of ‘CON-AIR the musical’ to the BBC, we was advised to find a production team. After scouring the web for a team that we felt could cater for our needs, and potential stardom, we submitted our application. They have since replied asking to know a bit about us, here is our response. We need as many shares as possible to grab their attention, and make this dream, a reality.
Thanks for your response….well where do I begin.
The year was 1991, Bryan Adams Everything I do (I do it for you) was sitting pretty at the top of the charts, Jason Donovan was smashing the west end with his lead role in Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat and little known computer retailer ‘PC world’ had just opened their first branch in Croyden. Up in the murky north west of England 3 weary travellers/wise men pitched up at a tavern; the inn keeper a one Craig ‘Buzzy’ Burrill directed them out back to the car park where a bustle of locals surrounded a Ford Cortina where a one Mrs Culshaw (nee. Minogue) gave birth to a child. Enter into the world a one Tom Culshaw.
Childhood was quite standard school, football a daily dose of catholic church until one day I came into contact with somebody who would change my life for ever. It was 2006 when I walked into that snooker hall. My friend and I had gone for a few frames when in the smokey shadows I could see a man lurking around. Suddenly he spoke loudly bellowing ‘You eyeballing me boy’ in a thick Tennesse accent. The man had a slick black hair, a trilby on (before Pete Docherty made them famous), a pair of aviator shades, a beautifully woven three piece linen suit and a big Cuban cigar in his mouth; again he spoke ‘You have the right to remain sexy sugar…now let’s play some snooky’. Enter into my life a one Ben Jorgensen.
The two would become best of friends after that day drinking, hustling, playing football, selling pegs, you name it. Anyway I digress.
At present we both spend most of our time finding new ideas to wind each other up and making each other laugh in the monotonous weekdays at work by sending in production ideas to get companies to take us on for television programmes. We have been asked to audition by channel 4 for ‘Coach Trip’ twice (possibly the only true fact in this whole email). Other than that there is the standard reality TV but it’s just not for us; we are more creative we’ve got better ideas e.g. Tom and Bens Magaluf Stag do tours (where we run a hotel but literally do every job; barman, lifeguard, cleaner, cook, etc) or Britain’s Got Tarrant (where we get former This Morning presenter Fern Brittan to kidnap Chris Tarrant hiding him somewhere in the UK and we have to find him within 24 hours)
So I suppose that’s us. Katie if you haven’t laughed once or shown a colleague this email then we have failed; we don’t want a response just delete and move on its over. But if we have grabbed your attention and curiosity then lets speak some more.