Fun

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? The public answers.

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Tom Culshaw
Written by Tom Culshaw

Everyone’s been on a bad date, some are worst than other’s. The public reveal their weirdest and funniest dates yet.

 

“I met this guy a few times. He seemed OK. To be honest I wasn’t all that keen, but we became quite close. Going back to his house (he lived alone) we went up to his room. It was FILLED with Barbie dolls that he ‘collected’. Safe to say we’ve never met again”

 

“He swerved out of his lane to run over a fluffy grey squirrel with his lifted pickup, and then laughed. Then he couldn’t figure out why I jumped down from the truck at the next stop sign and told him to go eat a dick.”

 

“I let myself be set up on a blind date. I picked up the girl and we started the evening off at a nice restaurant. Just after the waiter took our orders she excused herself to go wash her hands. She never came back.”
“After dinner and a movie, we went back to my place where I got violently ill (from the food I think). It was embarrassing, but she was very nice about it. Later we got married…and then divorced.”

 

“I once forgot who I was meeting for a date. I arrived early and thought she was just some girl hitting on me so I totally blew her off.”

 

“I kissed a girl on the first date and was pretty desperate at the time. So I got all wrapped up in the kiss and said I love you. And it didn’t earn me a second date.”

 

“I met a girl out ‘on the town’ one night. She was nice, you know one of those girls you’d bring home to your mum. After a string of one night stands with the odd cougar I was quite happy to meet a pleasant young lady. Anyway, after the first date (that went just swimmingly), she invited me back to her house ironically to meet her mum. The front door swung open, and I was greeted to ‘Dave?’ (My names not Dave) Looking sheepishly at her, then her daughter, all parties clocked on to the obvious conclusion (I’d played scrabble with her Mum in recent weeks) the door swiftly closed shut, and that was the end of that.”

 

“She asked me to tell her a joke. I said, “So two necropheliacs are hanging out. One asks the other, ‘Do you still have that girlfriend?’ The other says, ‘No, that rotten bitch split on me.” No second date.”

 

“I met a girl that I’d be speaking to her for a while. I knew her through a friend of a friend so it was all good. Anyway, we went on a date, decided to skip food and continued to sink an obscene amount of alcohol. After being brutally thrown out of a night club, we set off home pissed as a fart, only for her to fall head first into a bush, consequently scratching her eye. We then got home and not so romantically headed to the bedroom. After a good ten minutes of her throwing up in a bin, she then decided that she was too pissed to even recognise me and threw the whole contents at me screaming ‘get out’. Seconds later she fell asleep, so I made refuge under the bed until morning. Somehow, we’re friends to this day.”

 

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